Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
