First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize