i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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