3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Operation Purity has been aborted
My vagina just recognized that song.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
