its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
