I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
