I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
