yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
