Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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