nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
