Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize