i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
