was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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