I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
