Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
