honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
