oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
