just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
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