Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
i now understand why vodka
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
