what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
