i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
