i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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