5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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