Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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