end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
