Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
