we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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