So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize