where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
