OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
