Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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