Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
