Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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