Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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