I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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