so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize