Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
