Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
