i was born a porn star she said
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
