he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
