oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
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I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
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somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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