I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
