I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
