So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
