Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Boobs speak an international language.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
