Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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