trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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