A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
