who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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