zippers are such a cool invention
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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