I want to stick my p in your. b.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
