Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
