Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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