Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
