So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize