We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
